Eric C. Gould's Batna.com - Workshop Discussion Points

Eric C. Gould's Batna.com, the negotiation resource center, is quickly becoming the hottest place on the internet for negotiation information and skill development. Be sure to check it out for negotiation information.

Overview of Workshop Discussion Points

1. What is power? What does it mean to have power? What is the right kind of power in negotiation? How do you acquire it and how do you keep it? How do you increase it? The answers to these questions involve knowing where your negotiating power comes from and how to maintain it -- regardless of your specific situation or predicament.

2. Should you project a position of strength at all times? Think about the last time someone has made an impression of strength and confidence on you: a politician, a lecturer, a prosecutor. Think about what it was about the way they carried themselves, the tone and tenor of their voice, eye contact, body language, etc., that allowed their audience no room to question them. Does projecting this type of authority truly benefit you in a negotiation setting?

3. Think about some of your recent negotiations. Do you tend to get most of what you want most of the time or do you find yourself feeling you could have made a better deal? How often do you begin negotiating with what you're really after and how often do you dance around the issue? The reality for most of us is that it's not easy to negotiate a deal or agreement that satisfies all parties involved. We often feel we have little to work with, little flexibility, little knowledge of our counterparts. We're not sure how to begin a negotiation the right way. There are ways to overcome these obstacles and engage in better, more creative problem solving. There are ways to ensure greater value in a deal for everyone involved. They all begin with understanding your own needs.

4. We're taught to ask lots of questions to gather as much information as possible about the other side's background, interests, concerns. But the how and the when you ask these questions will affect the amount and quality of information that you receive. How do you deal with someone whose negotiation style doesn't fit your own? Do you question their overall integrity?

5. Some deals are easier to finalize successfully than others. Some take a long time, some go smoothly, but they are all a little different. How do you tell when to push hard, when to back down, when to make small talk and when to focus on business? Like any other communication, negotiation is led by subtle variables involving content, context, body language, historical background, etc., that we need to learn to sense and control. Be sure your negotiation techniques are on target with your intended goals.

6. When the other side tells you they've just made their final offer, how can you keep the negotiation alive?

7. Can keeping a calm and relaxed attitude help you ride out any unexpected developments in your negotiation, in particular unpleasant surprises. The true answer may surprise you.

8. How important is timing? You may, at times, want to create a sense of urgency or slow things down, as the situation dictates.

9. Preconceived ideas, opinions or notions can affect our negotiation as well. Having preconceived ideas about something or someone can help or harm your negotiations, depending on the situation. Prejudice can stand in the way of clear-headed negotiations. But think also about the preconceived ideas or prejudices the other party may have about you. Their reaction to you might be determined by their preconceptions of your job, your gender, your age, even before you've had a chance to speak. How can you minimize these potentially negative effects that such preconceived ideas could have on your negotiations?

10. There is a difference between looking out for yourself and being nice. In each situation, you need to determine which position could hurt or help your outcome, and which could hurt or help your counterpart's outcome. Firm commitment to your own interests does influence the problem solving process.

11. Think about what you would lose - or gain - by "giving in." Now think about what it really means when your counterpart gives in. It doesn't always mean victory. If your counterpart capitulates on an important issue, how committed are they likely to be when it comes to meeting your needs? In one way or another, capitulation is likely to impact the long-term effectiveness of the deals you negotiate.

12. Do you see revealing your true interests up front as another way of capitulating or demonstrating your power? We often reveal certain information and conceal others at different times during a negotiation. What do you risk by revealing your true interests?

13. Mediators are usually brought in only when communication breaks down beyond repair. You can, however, mediate your own negotiations so that communication is productive from the start. Good communication, the basis of effective problem solving, requires that you respond to what people mean, not necessarily to what they say. There are ways to tell what people are really thinking, and there are methods other than guessing or intuition to help you tell.

14. As human beings, we resist change. But in negotiation, creative solutions depend on new ideas and unique ways of looking at problems. If you have the courage to consider a given situation a little differently, you may find that an the other party's objection is not the stumbling block you thought. The word "no" just might be the sweetest word you'll hear in a negotiation. There are ways to overcome whatever resistance the other party's putting up against you and bring everyone together under an open, productive frame of mind.

15. As human beings, we are influenced by emotions. What roles do our emotions play in negotiation? Should emotion be kept entirely out of business discussions or does it ever prove useful? Like any other form of communication, emotion can be used effectively in business negotiation in a professional, credible manner. And like any other tool, it should be used with discretion, according to the situation at hand.

16. Negotiation often provokes strong emotions. But this doesn't have to mean delay, stalling, antagonism or stonewalling. Strong emotions can be used to drive the momentum of a negotiation forward. In cases where this is not possible, it might be advisable to take the time to "cool off" or "consider the options."

17. Why is it that a business negotiation can go nice and smooth until it's time to set the terms down on paper and sign? Whether the terms of a deal or other type of negotiation should be written down throughout the discussion or addressed at the end is something to consider.

18. Negotiating involves many other forms of communication than just verbal content, and that can be hard to read or interpret. Body language, silence, tone of voice are some of the variables you have to factor in. You need to understand what's really being said regardless of the words being used. If you do not get enough verbal information from someone, you're forced to read their mind. If you get too much, you can get easily confused. What value is there in your subjective interpretations of someone's actions? What do you, as a negotiator, need to know about non-verbal communication?

19. And what do you, as a negotiator, need to know about conflict resolution? We all walk into a negotiation environment intending to discuss and resolve problems in a civilized manner, but the average negotiation often turns into a contentious tug-of-war. We are easily sucked in. The challenge is to find out how to use negotiation to solve problems and keep it from itself becoming a problem. If you find yourself getting pulled into a verbal fight rather than a relaxed negotiation, you have to find a way to get out and move the dynamic from tactical maneuvering to side-by-side, cooperative problem solving.

20. When more than two parties are involved in a negotiation, disparate interests and strong emotions can pit them against one another. If you're the observer of the fight but still a participant in the negotiation, you're in an uncomfortable position. How can you drive the discussion back to the issues at hand and curb childish games without taking an authoritarian stance that alienates your counterparts?

21. Conflict is generally viewed as a negative and harmful force, but it can be turned around to act as a positive influence. Staying relaxed when a conflict occurs is essential to the successful resolution of your negotiation; in fact, it can actually strengthen and enhance your negotiating power.

22. When a conflict flares up in a negotiation, anxiety and anger increase as well, especially when the conflict involves valued relationships. How strange that it is so often so difficult to negotiate with people we know and like! Yet we tend to ease up on the bargaining when it comes to our friends. This begs the question, "Does caring about your counterpart mean making more concessions?" On the other hand, is it possible to make no concessions and still earn the respect of, or even be liked by, the other party, whether or not we know them?

23. Conflict means the other side is resisting your stance or point of view. If you tend to expect this kind of resistance every time you negotiate, perhaps you could state your needs and interests in a way that they'll be positively received and respected by the other party. Assuming the other party is reasonable.

24. But how can you deal with difficult negotiators? How can you compete with the expert negotiator who has ten tricks in every pocket? Do you even need to compete? Recognizing a game when it's being played is important. So is knowing how not to be overly suspicious -- in other words, how to gain and keep the other side's trust. In the instance when someone does lie to you, try to trick you, or use unfair strategies, you will have to know how to address the issue, how to stop the games the person is playing, and put the negotiations back on track.

25. Tough, hard-ball negotiators do not always make better deals. Inflexible commitment to a predetermined outcome often leads to missed alternatives and mediocre solutions. Driving a hard bargain might cause you to overlook hidden opportunities.

Contact at eric@batna.com, or 650-529-9922